Wisdom from the Talmud

Many people who strike their children do so not because they are evil or mean, but because they believe they are doing God's will. They often cite the phrase in Proverbs: "He who spares the rod hates his son." The problem is that pulling one line out of the Bible ignores the rest of the text. Much of the Book of Proverbs is filled with good counsel on how to be a better person. In Chapter 22 we are taught, "Train a child in the way he should behave, and even when he is old, he will not depart from it." Isn't it possible that the rod Proverbs refers to is to be used to point to lessons on the wall? When we fail to properly educate our children, we not only spoil them, we show them the opposite of love. We must use the rod to point out right from wrong, not to beat our children into submission the way slaves have been beaten throughout history. Even the Talmud says, "If you must strike a child, do so only with a shoelace." When taken in its entirety, Judaism can hardly sanction the use of violence against children. Even the famous sentence in Deuteronomy to stone to death the stubborn and rebellious son, was, according to the Talmud, never carried out. Instead, while discipline was and still is crucial for raising healthy children, striking a child need never occur. The mix of discipline and love is the recipe for a good future for our sons and daughters. The Talmud suggests: "A child should be pushed aside with the left hand, and drawn closer with the right hand."
Rabbi Larry Kaplan
Temple Israel, Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania